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  we don't have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, i could say that’s what i want in life. what i’m grateful and thankful to have found at yale, and what i’m scared of losing when we wake up tomorrow after commencement and leave this place.


  it’s not quite love and its’ not quite community; it’s just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together. who are on your team. when the check is paid and you stay at the table. when it’s four a.m. and no one goes to bed. that night with the guitar. that night we can’t remember. that time we did, we went, we saw, we laughed, we felt. the hats.


  yale is full of tiny circles we pull around ourselves. a cappella groups, sports teams, houses, societies, clubs. these tiny groups that make us feel loved and safe and part of something even on our loneliest nights when we stumble home to our computers—partnerless, tired, awake. we don’t have those next year. we won’t live on the same block as all our friends. we won’t have a bunch of group texts.


  this scares me. more than finding the right job or city or spouse, i’m scared of losing this web we’re in. this elusive, indefinable, opposite of loneliness. this feeling i feel right now.



  but let us get one thing straight: the best years of our lives are not behind us. they’re part of us and they are set for repetition as we grow up and move to new york and away from new york and wish we did or didn’t live in new york. i plan on having parties when i’m thirty. i plan on having fun when i’m old. any notion of the best years comes from clichéd “should have…,” “if i’d…,” “wish i’d…”


  of course, there are things we wish we’d done: our readings, that boy across the hall. we’re out own hardest critics and it’s easy to let ourselves down. sleeping too late. procrastinating. cutting corners. more than once i’ve looked back on my high school self and thought: how did i do that? how did i work so hard?our private insecurities follow us and will always follow us.


  but the thing is, we’re all like that. nobody wakes up when they want to. nobody did all of their readings (except maybe the crazy people who win prizes….).we have these impossibly high standards and we’ll probably never live up to our perfect fantasies of our future selves. but i feel like that’s okay.


  we’re so young.we’re so young. we’re twenty-two years old. we have so much time. there’s this sentiment i sometimes sense, creeping in our collective consciousness as we lie alone after a party, or pack up our books when we give in and go out—that it is somehow too late. the others are somehow ahead. more accomplished, more specialized. more on the path to somehow saving the world, somehow creating or inventing or improving. that it’s too late now to begin a beginning and we must settle for continuance, for commencement.


  when we came to yale, there was this sense of possibility. this immense and indefinable potential energy—and it’s easy to feel like that’s slipped away. we never had to choose and suddenly we’ve had to. some of us have focused ourselves. some of us know exactly what we want and are on the path to get it: already going to med school, working at the perfect ngo, doing research. to you i say both congratulations and you suck.


  for most of us, however, we’re somewhat lost in this sea of liberal arts. not quite sure what road we’re on and whether we should have taken it.if only i had majored in biology…if only i’d gotten involved in journalism as a freshman…if only i’d thought to apply for this or for that…


  what we have to remember is that we can still do anything. we can change our minds. we can start over. get a post-bac or try writing for the first time. the notion that it’s too late to do anything is comical. it’s hilarious. we’re graduating from college. we’re so young. we can’t, we must not lost this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have.


  college is the best time of your life. when else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?


  of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates。


  a professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep。


  as long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools。


  the things taught in colleges are not an education, but the means to an education。


  never get married in college:it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake。


  education is not preparation for life, education is life itself。


  the university brings out all abilities, including incapability。


  the chief value in going to college is that it's the only way to learn it really doesn't matter。


  80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read。




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